Motivation

I’m not really sure how to start. I mean it’s not that I don’t know who I am, or what I’d like to say…it’s mostly that I find motivation a bit out of reach. There are so many things on my “To Do” list that I’m overwhelmed to the point of inaction. It’s part “where do I start?” and part “I’m a human slug.” I found myself in a situation where it was my husband’s employment or my own. He had been on the job for 8 years and about $10 more an hour than me, so I pulled a Johnny Paycheck and bowed out.

Between the time I put in my 2-week notice and my final day, I found out that my uncle has lung cancer that has metastasized to his brain, and will be moving into my parents’ house. About 3 1/2 years ago, my husband and I moved back home with my parents, and a few months back, my older brother moved back in. My husband, B, and I are planning a big road trip this summer and I’m supposed to organize like a month’s worth of geocaches and mp3s. I’ve pretty much started taking care of all the chores for the household of now 6 adults, 4 cats, 2 dogs, and 2 kids every other weekend. I’m supposed to be taking this time to write down the book that’s been swimming in my head for about 15 years. One of the cats has seizures, so my whole day revolves on these 12 hour cycles of “time to med the fuzz ball.” I’ve volunteered to start cleaning an old boyfriend’s house for $70 a week, and I have no idea when I’d be able to do that. I’m afraid I’m going to wind up backing down.

I’m kind of a little all over the place in deciding where to start. I’m hoping this blog will help me get a rhythm to my new life as the gainfully unemployed member of the household. If nothing else, perhaps It will at least get me writing on a regular basis. It may not be anything worth reading, but I’ve got to get it out of my head. Only time will tell.

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